So Ankiel is hanging up the wild curveball. Its a bold move, but are the Cardinal faithful really suprised? I mean, not at the announcement but at anything that Rick Ankiel does? He's nothing if unpredictable. He won't be a Cardinal on April 2, that's for sure. He can't make the team as a fielder at this late date and sending him to AAA is a sure bet for another team. The real question will be if he will try to pitch for the team who claims him off waivers? Who will it be? Good luck, Rick. You've been the next Koufax, maybe you'll be the next Musial- or Ruth. Can I recommend that on the journey to greatness, that you make a stop in some psychotherapy?
Little new on my other fronts. I'm still picking up dog crap, congress is spending time and money to investigate steroid use which is as useful as picking up dog crap. How, in a country with no universal healthcare, with a federal deficit in the kagillions, with a growing crisis of homeless and jobless families, and with constant casualties in Iraq, our government can spend probably millions to investigate whether grown men tried to be better at children's games than others by putting needles in each other's asses?
How does this affect the public again? Who of these players in their right mind would show up for such a farce? Why no congressional hearings into WMDs in Iraq or into Bush's involvement in Enron?
Yes, the world will be a safer place when Rafael Palmeiro tells John McCain that the strongest thing he keeps in his bloodstream is Viagra. And Curt Schilling can bring along 3D diagrams of his temporary surgical procedures that allowed him to help win another World Series- talk about friggin performance enhancement!! What the hell is going on in this country?? Why are my clients getting cut off of utility assistance while milloinaires interview millionaires on their pharmaceutical habits?
Last time I checked, fans just don't care. Everyone loves razzing Barry, everyone who lives outside of the Bay Area anyway. He's our favorite King-domed villian. But honestly, I don't care if he used steroids. I'll be skeptical but I DO NOT CARE. McGwire? Yeah, I'm sure the neckful of pockmarks is a result of normal acne outbreaks in your 30s. Hope I can avoid it, being 30 now. I'm pretty sure I'm safe. IF you strip them of the their records, who gets them? Second place- Sammy Sosa. Sure, he's as clean as a baby's butt too. Canseco? HA. Nomar? A-Rod? Pudge? You never know.
I've spent more time talking about roids in this blog than the damned members of congress should have. PLEASE PEOPLE!!! Can we shift to the cure for breast cancer? Peace in the Middle East? ANYTHING but this. You all make me sad I pay taxes.
Good night, number 66. We'll always remember 2000.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
#6. A Post a Day...
I never plan to write every day. Every day writing is for journals, not blogs. Blogs are exhibitionist, journals aren't read until you die so no one else knows how selfish, shallow, and hedonistic you really are.
Still, I'm writing daily now. Well, I wrote yesterday. And being an exhibitionist, I will write about a first date I just had. The date will likely not call, as is my pattern of first dates, so he will never know what I say about him. That said, he could read this because it would be nice. He IS nice. Not nice in a generic, I don't know what else to say about him but NICE, like what exactly is wrong with him??
Normal, nice men are not single at 30 and they certainly aren't being set up with total strangers so there must be something wrong with him. Luckily, we talked extensively and found out we have some mutual friends so I was able to call one of them on my way home to inquire- What is wrong with him?? Amanda, my wonderful friend, suprised to hear I was out with her friend said, "Nothing, in fact we've all had crushes on this guy." Huh?
Now I'm on the hunt. I'm a stalker- what is WRONG with him? There must be something. Amanda and friends were all once attractive, smart, interesting and single. Now they are all of those things but single and yet no one dated this man with no flaws? There must be a reason. Someone must share with me. Perhaps he bites his toenails. Or he's a Republican. He is from Texas, there's a clue. But he's from Austin, which is really a succession from the Great Nation of W. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM??
We talked about food, friends,families, and Walmart. What else is there, really? He did not know that Walmart is evil, but he does know that George W is so that's OK.
There must be something, besides that he is not Mark Mulder. He played Division 3 basketball in college. I guessed Div. 2, he was insulted that I would not have guessed 1. Oops.
I forgot to thank him for dinner. What an ass. He paid the bill while I was in the bathroom so I never even got to offer to help out. Now I've forgotten to even THANK him for a very nice meal. And he is leaving town for the next 5 days. I wonder if he will call. I'm not holding my breath.
If he doesn't call, I will KNOW what is wrong with him. If he does, I'll still be left to wonder...
Still, I'm writing daily now. Well, I wrote yesterday. And being an exhibitionist, I will write about a first date I just had. The date will likely not call, as is my pattern of first dates, so he will never know what I say about him. That said, he could read this because it would be nice. He IS nice. Not nice in a generic, I don't know what else to say about him but NICE, like what exactly is wrong with him??
Normal, nice men are not single at 30 and they certainly aren't being set up with total strangers so there must be something wrong with him. Luckily, we talked extensively and found out we have some mutual friends so I was able to call one of them on my way home to inquire- What is wrong with him?? Amanda, my wonderful friend, suprised to hear I was out with her friend said, "Nothing, in fact we've all had crushes on this guy." Huh?
Now I'm on the hunt. I'm a stalker- what is WRONG with him? There must be something. Amanda and friends were all once attractive, smart, interesting and single. Now they are all of those things but single and yet no one dated this man with no flaws? There must be a reason. Someone must share with me. Perhaps he bites his toenails. Or he's a Republican. He is from Texas, there's a clue. But he's from Austin, which is really a succession from the Great Nation of W. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM??
We talked about food, friends,families, and Walmart. What else is there, really? He did not know that Walmart is evil, but he does know that George W is so that's OK.
There must be something, besides that he is not Mark Mulder. He played Division 3 basketball in college. I guessed Div. 2, he was insulted that I would not have guessed 1. Oops.
I forgot to thank him for dinner. What an ass. He paid the bill while I was in the bathroom so I never even got to offer to help out. Now I've forgotten to even THANK him for a very nice meal. And he is leaving town for the next 5 days. I wonder if he will call. I'm not holding my breath.
If he doesn't call, I will KNOW what is wrong with him. If he does, I'll still be left to wonder...
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
#5 My Job is Picking Up
This was the sign on the pooper scooper guy's trash can who followed the mounted police in parades when I was a kid. Now its all coming back to haunt me. My job for a week and 3 days has literally been to shovel poo. Three Great Danes, two of whom outweigh me and the other of which is monstly incontinent, make a lot of poo.
I'm housesitting, of course, I'd never fit three 130+ lb beings in my apartment unless some friends needed a place to crash after a night of drinking. They'd not fit into my apartment. These guys- Samson, Barkley, and Winston are lovely dogs, really sweet and I enjoy the big one s more than the small yappy ones, but this poo thing is a real deterrent to my fully enjoying their sweetness. Have you seen the size of Great Dane poo?? I could post a picture, but I won't.
I digress. Enough Dane poo. In other news today, we joined the rest of the civilzed world by outlawing the juvenile death penalty. First the mentally retarded, now the kids. Now THAT is progress. So proud to be an American!! And even prouder am I to be a Missourian, where after a long and unproductive 18+ month time away from killing our own, we're back to the executions this month. Thank goodness, I can breathe easy again soon. After all, surely the crime rate has skyrocketed and the streets have filled with violent criminals since the DP is such a huge crime deterrent.
Rehnquist was apparently disappointed in the ruling, he said something out of his tracheostomy about life being more valuable as a fetus this big --> . <-- than as a walking, talking, breathing 17-year-old. Of course this living, breathing 17-year-old has killed people and the fetus (.) has not...yet. Still, no one was asking the Court to let the child criminals free, no these kids will never see the light of day, and probably they should not. But at least the Court decided that death is best left up to nature, God, or one's self, not the state or federal government. This is the way it should be.
I just started to type some other horrible joke/smartass comment about the Pope answering Renquist out of his OWN trach... but that's just in bad taste.
Oh! How could I forget the MOST pressing news- Rick Ankiel threw 3 strikes yesterday in BP in Jupiter!! Of course, the threee strikes were just 3 of 26 pitckets he threw, but I was there in the 2000 playoffs, I saw the implosion. Believe me, the Rick Ankiel of the 2000 NLCS could NEVER have thrown 3 strikes. I think things are looking up for ol' number 66. I think he changed the number, but he'll always be our little number 66. Good luck Rick, you'll need it.
I'm housesitting, of course, I'd never fit three 130+ lb beings in my apartment unless some friends needed a place to crash after a night of drinking. They'd not fit into my apartment. These guys- Samson, Barkley, and Winston are lovely dogs, really sweet and I enjoy the big one s more than the small yappy ones, but this poo thing is a real deterrent to my fully enjoying their sweetness. Have you seen the size of Great Dane poo?? I could post a picture, but I won't.
I digress. Enough Dane poo. In other news today, we joined the rest of the civilzed world by outlawing the juvenile death penalty. First the mentally retarded, now the kids. Now THAT is progress. So proud to be an American!! And even prouder am I to be a Missourian, where after a long and unproductive 18+ month time away from killing our own, we're back to the executions this month. Thank goodness, I can breathe easy again soon. After all, surely the crime rate has skyrocketed and the streets have filled with violent criminals since the DP is such a huge crime deterrent.
Rehnquist was apparently disappointed in the ruling, he said something out of his tracheostomy about life being more valuable as a fetus this big --> . <-- than as a walking, talking, breathing 17-year-old. Of course this living, breathing 17-year-old has killed people and the fetus (.) has not...yet. Still, no one was asking the Court to let the child criminals free, no these kids will never see the light of day, and probably they should not. But at least the Court decided that death is best left up to nature, God, or one's self, not the state or federal government. This is the way it should be.
I just started to type some other horrible joke/smartass comment about the Pope answering Renquist out of his OWN trach... but that's just in bad taste.
Oh! How could I forget the MOST pressing news- Rick Ankiel threw 3 strikes yesterday in BP in Jupiter!! Of course, the threee strikes were just 3 of 26 pitckets he threw, but I was there in the 2000 playoffs, I saw the implosion. Believe me, the Rick Ankiel of the 2000 NLCS could NEVER have thrown 3 strikes. I think things are looking up for ol' number 66. I think he changed the number, but he'll always be our little number 66. Good luck Rick, you'll need it.
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