The anti-bride

Rob and I are going to get hitched.

That decision was made on January 30, 2008.

Its been discussed before, and I'm all for having a big party and am sure I will be with Rob for a very long time, indefinitely even. We've been together for almost 2 and 1/2 years and he can still put up with me, so I'd better hang onto him.

So now we've got to plan this party. I love the idea of the big party, and that's what I want to call it. We say some things to each other in front of tons of our friends and our families, then we have a rockin' outdoor music/food/beverage fiesta!

But its not so simple, and there aren't enough words in our lexicon to replace the conventional terms I'd rather not use. "Wedding" conjurs up the image of strapless dresses, French manicures, romantic soft music, teary-eyed mothers of the bride or groom, a charming blonde-ringleted girl sprinkling flower petals on a long carpet while stained glass church windows filter sunlight down on her flower-crowned head, tall perfectly coiffed white cakes and dance games like who's been married the longest?

I don't want ANY of that. I don't want to be called "bride" or "fiance" or call our party a "wedding". Its not that I'm scared of the commitment part of it, or even being linked for eternity (or at least for the next 50-60 years) to my Robert. No, its the traditional ideas that just turn me off.

The wedding industry is a scam. The money spent on these occasions is appalling. The amount of time and stress that are supposedly the "norm" is just not worth it. For fun, I googled some wedding invitation stuff to see if there are affordable, attractive, simple wedding invitations on recycled paper. Little did I know that I'm supposed to have about 16 pieces of paper PER guest over the course of the planning months. They all have to match. Save the date cards, invitations to the engagement party, actual wedding invitations, RSVP cards, envelopes for everything, thank you notes, labels for returns, labels for addresses, matching stamps, seals, pieces of paper to go BETWEEN each piece of paper, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and that's all about $5-6 per guest. We might be inviting 300 people to our party. Many of our guests are married or committed to other guests, so they'd just get one set of each but still- 300 x $5.50 is over $1600!!!!!

Do you know what I could do with $1600?!

Heck, Rob could own a car that runs for $1600. I could go to Asia for 3 weeks (by myself, sorry Rob we're not legally bound to each other yet).

We could get TWO great new computers. Or one really good computer AND a new state of the art camera. Plus carrying cases for both.

I could redo the electric in my kitchen.

We could donate that amount to HRC's work for marriage equality so that our gay friends who have been together 2-3 times as long as we can have the option of signing the same paperwork that we can and gaining the 1200 rights that we get from our dual signatures and a fee of under $40.

And that is the second reason I have a problem being a "bride" in a "wedding". Because I'm a girl and Rob's a boy, we get to call our party a "wedding". I don't want to, but I have the option. I'm uncomfortable signing a marriage license so the government will recognize our union, when I really don't CARE what the government thinks about my relationship and I sure don't like that they will choose to recognize mine when they won't recognize so many others'.

I'm not happy about it, but I've done my research and been swayed towards being more neutral about that marriage license business for myself. Since its important to Rob- very, very important in fact- and I've gained some understanding from my gay friends and Dan Savage, I'm probably going to sign on the line.

But instead of buying $80 pillows for our charming little ring bearer to carry our platinum, engraved $400 wedding bands down the flower-strewn aisle at our wedding/party, we're going to chuck some money HRC's way. And we'll ask our guests to do the same.

And then we're going to have a party.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Well, mostly. Obama won Missouri!! He won more delegates nationwide. He got Connecticut, he PLOWED Hillary in Kansas, and a few other states which were all surprises. Clinton won Cali, but I'd say the day held better news for Obama than Clinton.

There's still a long way to go.

Missouri has not picked a presidential candidate who ultimately did not win in my lifetime.

I have everything crossed, an Obama bumper sticker on my car, and more checks made out to his campaign than to just about anything else.

What else can you do?

Super Fat Tuesday

Vote, vote, vote today.

VOTE.

Its your right, its your duty, women have have the vote for less than 100 years only. Use the rights people die to defend.

And if you need any further reason, no Bush is on the ballot.

VOTE.

Super Tuesday

<----------See the video just to the left, or here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHEO_fG3mm4

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --

Yes. We. Can.

News Day

On cold January days, post holidays and before baseball season, there's not a lot of news.

Today is different. Heath Ledger has died.I'm not attached to celebrities and their lives per say, but this man brought Ennis Del Mar to life and made a gay love story entertaining and tragic and more importantly- mainstream.

In more local news, Matt Blunt, Worst Governor in the US is not seeking a second term. No reason is given for now, none other than he's "already accomplished" what he sent out to do in his first term. But his first term is a disaster, he's already begun a campaign for reelection so this means one thing: Scandal.

I hope its a raucous sex tape, maybe some porn. This man is a born again, holier-than-thou nutcase so while I sincerely hope he is not ill or experiencing a family tragedy, I'm thrilled at the prospect of him being shamed and run from office. He's balanced our state budget on the backs of disabled children and poor families, so its his turn to feel a little pain.

January 2009 was already promising to be joyous with the inauguration of some president not named Bush and now, almost as thrilling- inauguration of of a MO governor not named Blunt.

RIP Heath Ledger. Happy retirement and please go away, Matt Blunt.

Thanks for the memories

Jimmy Baseball. Hollywood. Jimmy Ballgame. Thanks for The Catch in 2004, the walkoff in 2005, for taking charge in 2006 so we lived your dream and you got your ring.


Thanks for treating St. Louis like home, for stepping to the plate to Nellie, for hanging out at Blues games, and for your respect for the baseball history here.

Thanks for the field in Forest Park Southeast, for texting the Grind even when you should have kept it to yourself, and thanks for the halfshirts.



Thanks for the memories.

Mitchell Report

The nannystate steroid list will be released in a little over an hour. Sixty to 80 former and current baseball players will be named as steroid users past or present. They make enough money for me to not feel sorry for them, but I do hope some of our old favorites and currrent "good guys" are not on the list. I truly do not want to see Albert Pujols, Derek Jeter, Jim Edmonds, or Chris Carpenter named.
Whose name would make me cheery? Curt Schilling. That loudmouth could be silenced in the next hour. That would be nice. Also, I would not mind JD Drew. Roger Clemens with his annual its-May-and-I'm-going-to-announce-coming-out-of-retirement-again speech is really old, so it would be fine with me if he's on it. I suspect Nomar will be there. We already know some of the names- Troy Glaus, Canseco, Sammy Sosa, Palmeiro, McGwire, Bonds, Rick Ankiel, and Giambi. Sixty to 80 is many more, but still a tiny percentage of all the players who currently or in the past played MLB. Some of them I am certain will not be named- Ozzie Smith, David Eckstein, Joe McEwing.

Who will be named?

I wait with baited breath!!

Q: Who do you favor for President in the United States?

A: “I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A - in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun - very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier.

Like Borat Sagdiyev, I've pretty much thrown my support behind Barack Obama. I did that before Oprah, so its not just because he's trendy. Truth be told, Dennis Kucinich is the only candidate that I feel most represents my beliefs, but Obama can actually win. That makes me sound cynical and perhaps like a sellout, but its self-preservation too. Its hard to keep getting excited about candidates and then watch them crumble and choke and fall apart and lose. Nader, Gore, Dean, Kucinich- all were once supported by this voter. Now I'm with Obama, there's no way I can go 0-for-5. Right?!

Dark Arch

The Arch has been dark this week in the evenings, and I could not remember why exactly, but knew that it had something to do with a migration of some creature. It turns out to be birds!

FYI from the Head Arch Dude:

Thank you for interest on lighting the Gateway Arch at night.

We are open to the public from 8am to 10 pm during the period of Memorial
Day through Labor Day. If the lights are turned on any earlier than 10 pm,
it would shine directly into the eyes of visitors at the top of the Arch
making it impossible to see or look out from the Arch observation deck.

As you may know, low clouds that hide the night sky that birds use to
navigate by, combined with artificial light, result in a halo effect that
can cause birds to fatally fly into artificially lit structures.
Therefore, for two weeks in the spring and again for two weeks in the fall,
the Arch is not lit due to spring and fall bird migrations.

Also, times of low cloud cover, during rain, or snow storms has effect on
the aesthetics of the lighting causing the 44 light beams themselves
becoming the focal point as opposed to the object beging lit. Hence, you
have 44 beams illuminating nothing which is an obvious distraction from the
Arch itself. To avoid illuminating nothing, a ceilometer automatically
shuts the lights off when such events occur, and conversely, turns them on
again when the situation changes. Otherwise, here is the Gateway Arch
Exterior Lighting schedule:

Oct through March 6pm - 12midnight
April through May 7pm - 12 midnight

May (beginning Memorial Day weekend) through September 10pm - 1am
September (beginning the day after labor Day) 6pm -
12midnight

And, if that is not sufficiently complicated, keep in mind that we permit
after hours events to be held during the evenings between Labor Day and
Memorial Day. Should a permitee request that the tram ride to the top of
the Arch be available, we cannot turn on the exterior lights until their
event has concluded which sometimes can be as late as midnight.

We do hope this sheds some light on the Arch and as always we appreciate
your interest.

Sincerely,

/s/Franklin D. Mares
Deputy Superintendent

Eating Disorder

I've become obsessed with food. Its not dangerous, not the type where I eat excessively, stop eating, or force my food back up after consumption. No, this is another kind of disorder. Its more of an I'm-not-single-anymore eating disorder. With a little we're-a-one-income-couple-who-enjoy-good-food axis II clarification. I am officially not single. After 1 year and 11.5 months of learning all about and falling in love with Robert, and after 4 months+ of living together, I'm really and truly not a single person anymore. I'm past the Fear of Commitment. I'm past the fear in general. Its all good now. Some things, though, are not part of the romatic, lovely picture of what life is like when you meat That Person. Most things are brilliantly working out, compromise is easy and fun and I'm so glad he's moved in. We get along despite all of my energetic bursts of conversation topic after midnight and his inability to sleep past 7am.
So its fortunate that our "issues" are minor ones. The one I'm thinking of at this posting is food. When I was single, I didn't think about food much. I love food- healthy, colorful, non-processed food. I don't need much food to fill me up. I'm very lucky in that regard, and also that I enjoy a wide palate of spiciness and ethnicities in my food. Leftover Indian can last me a week. If I didn't have a full "meal" by most people's standards in my bachelor pad, I could make a peanut butter sandwich, eat a couple of tortilla chips with a few slices of Mexican cheese, have half a bowl of frozen peas, a handful of blueberries and I was full. Broccoli and spinach could be a full meal, not just side dishes. I was not a great cook, but it was enough for me.
Then I met Rob, and learned what GOOD cooking was. Rob loves gourmet food. He can cook it and eat it like a pro. His tastes are diverse and can be expensive. Rob loves meat and fish and things that I've never bought in my life. He's also writing his dissertation which, if you've never tackled that joy before, entails sitting at a computer for 8-12 hours per day 7 days a week. Rob has recently decided that this lifestyle is not consistent with his love for all things rich and filling and has decided to lose weight.
So this brings me to my eating disorder. We have consciously been eating healthfully for 1 month. We are also intending to travel to Asia in early 2008, so we are working on saving funds for the big vacation.

to be continued...

Gardening at Night

As I work on my 97 year old house, I usually document projects with "before and after" photos. One of my biggest projects this year has been my garden, and I have to admit that the "after" photos on that project are far more interesting and attractive than my newly installed pantry shelving system or the freshly sealed and repaired crack in my top step.













This year, I hauled in over 2500 lbs of dirt, skimmed the top layer of soil off and filled my raised bed garden with new, clean fill dirt and a small amount of store-bought manure and planted basil, rosemary, thyme, and sage that I'd grown from seed. I added some red-a-million tomatoes from Home Depot, a few basil plants (because I was impatient!) , tarragon, and purple sage from Soulard Market, and a butternut squash, 3 jalepeno plants, 2 eggplant plants, and a few striped zebra tomato plants from Steph and Bob. I also got some mint, chocolate plain, and planted them in a back corner of my yard as I knew in my last house, some mint plants had taken over the existing garden. Alas, my plain mint died and the chocolate mint, while thriving, has not proliferated like the mint at my old place.
The progress was slow at first, but then the basil took off. The photo below is all basil, one lemon and the rest standard basil. It was taken after a storm a few weeks ago so there was some separation the branches and some "settling" but they are truly still basil bushes.In the last month, Rob and I have really started to reap the rewards of this mess o' green! We've made lots and lots of pesto (with more to come. Pesto, anyone?), had lots of tiny little red tomatoes while still waiting for the green zebras to grow, eaten one giant butternut squash with sage for seasoning, and just yesterday we picked this beautiful eggplant for this coming week's menu. Here it is in its natural habitat, and then about a week later with Rob to give size perspective.

















The squash was wonderful, and its really a rewarding feeling to have a meal that is comprised by half or more of things that I grew myself. I'm learning as I go, this is the largest garden I've ever had but another of my undertakings will certainly help my gardening efforts next year. That project is my compost pile!! Yep, that's it on the left, and it is one of the very first things I built after I moved in one year ago. It should have some really quality compost right about now, so my current garden did not benefit from this pile. From what I've heard and read, one year is prime time for compost. So next year, when I (hopefully) expand my garden, it will be rich with composted nutrients. Most of what I know about gardening, I learned from Pat and Bea, our dear family friends who had more of a hand in raising us than anyone besides our parents. Bea and Pat always had the most incredible garden. The vegetable and fruit garden filled both sides of their big yard, and the back of the yard was a flower garden with a bird bath. On the left were neat rows of peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, carrots, onions, a bunch of other things that I've not forgotten, and asparagus. On the right were strawberry plants, lettuce, spinach, mint, and a variety of other herbs that must have grown well in the shade of Mr. G's giant oak tree. The garden always seemed to be perfectly symmetrically planted, weed-free, and carefully watered. I loved that yard, we spent hours out there in the summer caring for the plants and drinking water with lemon juice just like Bea liked it. Pat had potted plants ALL over the inside and outside of their house too, and as she became too sick with cancer in the last year, she gave me lots of her plants. Many of them needed replanting, a sign of just how sick Pat was because in years past she meticulously cared for her greenery, repotting as needed. Even the last time I saw Pat, as she was directing me to take more plants from her bed where she was confined, there were still a few that she was hanging onto. I'm sure Pat was attached to a few of them, or at least to the idea that no one could care for her plants the way that she can. She's right. I haven't killed one yet, but I've had some close calls with the potted plants. Here is one that has thrived and probably already needs to be repotted.
I don't know how she kept up with everything, but I'll always attribute my gardening interests and skills to Pat, who died on August 12. Bea, at 20+ years older and nearing 90, was always healthy as a horse until a week before Pat's death when she broke her hip and now this week she has gotten word that she, too, is filled with cancer. A big part of my childhood is slippping away, but I get to carry some of them with me. My garden and my dog are both loves heavily influenced by Pat and Bea, as they shared their lovely garden and beloved mutt Buffy with my siblings and I.
As I look around my yard, I see my spider wort and catnip growing around my birdbath and then my humble vegetable garden, and I know that Bea and Pat will always be with me. Every time I smell a tomato plant, give my pup a bath in the backyard, or sip water with lemon juice, there they are.

A Bad Week for STL

Saturday, August 11, 2007 our friend Dan was killed at his and Courtney's home on the North side of the city. It crushed us all, his neighbors, friends and fellow SLU alums. It has devastated his family, including Courtney, his siblings, his parents, Courtney's siblings, their nieces and nephews and their closest friends Tony and Julie. It remains unsolved. The wake and funeral were terribly sad, but also wonderfully carried out by people who took time from their own grief to help out, or people who might have only known the grieving family peripherally but who just felt that helping out was the right thing to do. More distant friends sent money to cover costs of food for the funeral luncheon, sent money in Dan's name to a trust that will cover (hopefully) the costs of others continuing Dan's work for a long, long time, and sent their best wishes from all over the country and the world. There was a condolence notice sent from the United Nations office in Kabul, Afghanistan. Mark Chmiel gave a beautiful, sad reflection at the funeral that is posted here.

More articles are here,
here, and here (username: saintlouis, password: missouri)

Four days later, a 22 year old St. Louis police officer was shot and killed in North City and a 15 year old has subsequently been arrested for the murder. The young officer was from the area he was patrolling and had requested to be assigned there so that he could be a "role model" for youth in his home neighborhood. His photo looks like the face of a child with his dad's uniform and oversized police hat. It is said that the 15 year old planned to kill a cop, any cop would do and so he got a gun and did just that.

Finally, 24 hours after Officer Brown's death, St. Alphonsus Rock church burned after being struck by lightning. It is a St. Louis city institution, a Catholic church but important to many besides Catholics. Its an African-American parish, known for epic services that include dancing in the aisles, a gospel choir, tourists and visitors from all over St. Louis and the Midwest, and its incredible neighborhood outreach programs. The photos of "before" are beautiful, and the word now is that the church can be rebuilt. A drive by it shows the roof nearly completely missing, with some burnt wood protruding from what now appears to be a football-field long "skylight" at the top of the church. Very likely, its age (135+) will be its saving grace, as old construction here and in Europe has proven to be superior in withstanding flood, war, and fire to anything built today. Also, the people who love the church and make it function are resilient and still had services this past Sunday in an adjacent gym.

In 6 days, three very significant losses hit our city. It was a very bad week.

So as previously mentioned, I'm going to be an obi-san, or aunt. My sister-in-law has just crossed over into the second trimester of her pregnancy and will likely be having the first Fingerhut grandchild around my late Grandma Millie's birthday of February 13. Its very exciting for the entire family, probably especially for my parents who, like good Catholics, gave birth to 4 children relatively early in life likely expecting to also be grandparents relatively early in life. As the oldest, I have to apologize to them for not carrying out my end of the grandchild business. Fortunately, my brother has picked up the slack, married very well, and they'll be grandparents before they turn 60. That's great for them, and fun for the rest of us who get to spoil and hang with our new, half-Japanese, half-decendant of Nellie Fogarty, all Fingerhut neice or nephew. One interesting thing is that this child is destined to be 100% bilingual. That means the kid will always have a "secret language" with which to fool teachers, baby sitters, friends, and enemies growing up no matter on which continent they reside. Lucky little kids, that will only benefit them as they grow, apply for college, and seek a career path.

In Cardinal news, Rick Ankiel has returned to major league baseball in fine fashion. I don't think anyone could have predicted what he's accomplished in making it back, and no one every would have put money on his hitting a 3 run homer for the Cardinals in August of 2007.
Rob, Andrea, and I watched from Tanner B's. The entire place gave him a standing o, as did all the fans at Busch and probably people watching the game from all over the Midwest. Welcome back, Rick Ankiel. You've given us something to be excited about again.

Goddess trilogy

I have no particular reason to post about anything other than my recent coast-to-coast trips or the many exciting adventures being undertaken in the Fingerhut world, but just had to record one of my favorite celebrity gossip quotes because I ran across it online today:

"In this crazy patriarchal world we live in, we are doing our part to balance the energy. We are proud to announce the completion of our goddess trilogy with the birth of our third daughter, Makani Ravello," -Woody Harrelson and wife Laura Louie, 6/06.

I just enjoy its originality and of course I enjoy that Woody Harrelson is a free-thinker and says what he'd like in career-be-damned fashion. That's some self-confidence, a rare quality in show biz.

In the last two weeks I've dipped by feet in both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans and left the country for the first time in 20 months. I'll post more later and some photos as well.

Oh, and I'm going to be an AUNT!!!

Or, an Obi-san.

YEAH!!

Lazy People

As a rare visitor to MySpace, when I log in I read up on what everyone else has been doing. I saw a link on Becky's page to a myspace page for a family whose baby has been shaken (by an unrelated caretaker) and is critically injured. That is very sad, and I went to the website to read an update. The website is also a plea for financial help as the parents are practically children, the mother is only 21 and the father roughly the same age. So I peruse and feel bad for them and then see one of those little internet quizzes the mother had filled out. I presume this was completed before her baby became ill. She wrote: "I don't understand...:Government Assistance... A bunch of BS! They only help the Lazy people."


If I were cruel, I'd comment on the irony here. But she is just 21. She'll soon learn if she has not already that while she, her husband, and their infant are likely not "lazy", they will soon be the beneficiaries of the same "government assistance" that she has scorned.

Please Drink Responsibly

Last evening, 8 in the Fingerhut party (including one in-law and one significant other) took in a Gateway Grizzlies game. Reliving our childhood vacation destinations of small town minor league baseball stadiums, most of us stayed until the Grizzlies took the Southern Illinois Miners (with infamous starter Danny Almonte) into 11 innings. Just as in our childhood, there was excitement around every turn in the indy league park. There was Miss Illinois, Heidi signing autographs and clearly showing her Talent- impeccable spelling of Japanese names. In the bottom of the 10th, score tied at 5, a Grizzlies batter grounded out to first- and the lights in the stadium promptly turned off. No, the game is not over! came the word from the announcer, there's just been a light malfunction. Oh, and the Cardinals won 5-2 tonight over the Pirates and Jordan something is your new American Idol. The "light malfunction" took 45 minutes to correct, and after the delay the Grizzlies rallied to win in the bottom of the 11th. At midnight. You've gotta love minor league baseball!!

Fortunately for Rob and MF, word from the concessioneers was excellent- last call for beer? "There's no such thing". I suppose the laws are more lenient in Sauget. Did I mention the Grizzlies play in the Village of Sauget, IL, population 249? Well, they do, just a stone's throw from the Oz and a number of other choice venues for XXX girls, all night beverages and Yellow Brick Road, sight of Josh Hancock's collision with an 18 wheeler a mere 60 hours before his second collision which cost him his spanking new rental SUV and his life.
The irony of the lawsuits his family announced today could almost top the irony of the bracelets the Grizzlies pass out if you are a card-carrying 21 year old in their stadium intending to imbibe:


The juxtaposition of the "Please Drink Responsibly" millimeters from the contact info for Rekowski and Associates, Criminal DUI Misdemeanor attorneys makes about as much sense as the Hancock family's foray into frivolous lawsuits.

I've posted on forums today, I've listened to local radio and even read some national coverage and the bottom line on this is that a family is clearly in pain. They have lost their son, brother, nephew, and grandson. He drank himself into a heavily buzzed state at Mike Shannon's and then took off for Clayton, calling friends along the way to join him for a few more hours of partying. Fortunately, he took no one with him when he decapitated his SUV on the back of a tow truck driven by a good samaritan who stopped to help the driver of a Geo Prizm who either stalled or was forced by a collision into a stop in the fast lane of highway 40. The Hancocks are suing them all- Shannon's staff, the restaurant itself, tow truck company and driver, and now here's the kicker- the driver of the Geo Prizm. I've never been in a Prizm, but I briefly had a Geo Metro as a teenager and let me say for the record that a Geo driver does not have a lot of cash to spare. Trust me here. The Prizm driver needs what little he has. After the accident he immediately went to check the pulse of the fatally and gruesomely injured driver who we all learned a few hours later was Cardinals reliever Josh Hancock.

The family of a MAJOR LEAGUE baseball player has decided that they should extract some cash from this kid.

Amazing.

I hate to be the one to break the news to the Hancock family, but so many have taken the high road in covering and discussing your Josh's behavior and accident. The police, the Cards organization, every player, the management at Mike Shannon's, the fans, everyone had nothing but condolences and sympathy even though Josh was driving 68 MPH and on a cell call when his truck slammed into the tow truck. Oh, did I mention he was at twice the legal limit for driving in MO? Yeah, that too.

Well, the pity is no more. I'm fairly certain the Hancock family would not be welcomed to St. Louis anymore. I've never seen such public unity on a potentially explosive issue. Opinions are not a bit mixed. The Hancocks have wrecked their good name and whatever good was left of Josh's with this lawsuit business. Sympathy is gone. The rumor is that Josh's life insurance won't be paid out due to the circumstances of his death and his family is seeking to recoup some of the costs of his lost potential earnings to secure their financial future.

I think perhaps Justin Tollar, former owner of a (likely totalled) Geo Prizm should lower himself to a Hancock level and file a countersuit to try to recoup the cost of the years of psychotherapy he'll need to cope with the horrors he must have seen in the cab of that SUV when he selflessly went to check the pulse of an already deceased Josh Hancock.

I'll bet he could use a vehicle, something a little more substantial than a Prizm. He should get in touch with Rekowski and Associates, I'm sure they'd be happy to help.

If it Makes Ray-Ray Happy...

Ray Burke, he of denying communion to John Kerry fame, today announced he will not attend nor support the Cardinal Glennon fundraiser this weekend because Sheryl Crow is performing.

He's got a beef about her "positions which are contrary to natural law" and Catholic teachings because she's a "proponent of procured abortion" and also because of her commercials in Fall 2006 in support of stem cell research.

Burke also said that Catholics should not attend the fundraiser, but are absolved if they bought the tickets "in good faith." (whatever that means) "The church's teaching is very clear on procured abortion and stem cells" says Ray, so Burke is removing himself from the board of Cardinal Glennon.

Bob Costas (a self-proclaimed "Catholic faithful") is the host, he says he respects Burke's opinion but has no misgivings about Crow and is very greatful to her for her performance and support for sick kids.

This is from a radio interview earlier today on KMOX.

Has Sheryl Crow said anything about abortion? I'm unaware of anything like that. Many in show biz are pro-choice, but I'm not aware of her personal feelings on it. It would be nice if Burke would also point out that Crow has been outspokenly against a war that the Catholic church also has official opposition to by decree of two Popes, and on that issue he agrees with her as I've sure heard her talk more about war than abortion, but I suppose he reserves the right to critique whomever he likes.

I suppose Bob Costas had better not try to get communion anytime soon.

What exactly is "procured abortion" anyway? The definition of procured by Webster's dictionary is 1 a : to get possession of : obtain by particular care and effort b : to get and make available for promiscuous sexual intercourse

So Ray is against Getting or Obtaining an abortion? Is there another way for abortion to happen? Does he mean miscarriage? Surely he and his peeps would not use the scientific term "spontaneous abortion" to signify miscarriage as the A word there might somehow imply some sort of sin or fault, right?

So Ray is against Sheryl Crow being for the Getting or Obtaining of abortion.

Ray might be OK with the ex-future-Mrs. Armstrong being pro-reproductive choice while still opposed to the Getting and Obtaining of abortion.

I wonder.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Sheryl Crow giving her time and earning potential to raise money for seriously ill babies and children is not worth a boycott. If I could afford a ticket, I'd probably go.

And I don't even really like her music. I also don't think people in my income bracket are the target audience of this fundraiser!

Pat Tillman

Recruitment tool, anyone?

Mary Tillman thinks so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwxM42Tl7Jo

The gross coverup of Pat Tillman's death has far-reaching effect on our country.

Call me a skeptic, but who was a better face of recruitment for the "War on Terror" but this handsome, strapping, intelligent football player?

It was known by the Army Rangers that his death was by friendly fire the day of his memorial service which was a patriotic call to arms broadcast throughout the nation. Even I, not particularly a fan of Tillman's, football OR the Army, listened to it largely because Jim Rome was speaking!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=tillmanpart1

The Army knew what they were doing. By the time they awarded Tillman a Silver Star, the Army had burned his uniform, his diary, and altered the documents submitted nominating him for that award.

His family's statement reads in part:

The Army can still not cite a single instance of any Silver Star, before Pat, that was awarded in the case of fratricide, when the subject of the award was never fired upon by the enemy.

No one who knew Pat ever doubted his physical or moral courage.

But the award of the Silver Star appears more than anything to be part of a cynical design to conceal the real events from the family ­ but most especially, from the public ­ while exploiting the death of our beloved Pat as a recruitment poster.
http://counterpunch.org/tillman03272007.html

9/11 seemed to be the sole reason that thousands of young people enlisted in the military. I hear those stories every day. Was 9/11 not enough? I'm not naive enough to suggest that any event thus far was staged as a military recruitment drive, but that the event's existence and subsequent promotion and publicity was enough to spur a rush of young men and women who felt called to serve.

I wonder how many American soldiers' deaths in Iraq were predestined when they first heard or saw a broadcast of Tillman's stern, confident Ranger portrait flashed in ESPN?

Four More Years?

Today is the 4th anniversary of the start of the very misguided invasion that has come to be known as the Iraq War. It is now longer than World Wars 1 and 2 and has cost 3218 American lives- not to mention the thousands of US injuries. Somewhere around 60,000 Iraqi civilians who were alive on March 19, 2003 are now dead of war-related injuries. Rob and I attended part of a 24 hour vigil in downtown St. Louis yesterday that culminated in a walk to Senator Claire McCaskill's office today to present a petitition asking her to vote against further war funding.

This is the official purpose of the vigil, to let our reps know that we the people are finished with trusting a government that spoonfed us this bogus war. Four years ago, I stood on Art Hill as the first bombs were dropped on Iraq and then we were a small minority. Public sentiment was very pro-war, very rah-rah, post-9/11, go get 'em, BRING IT ON. Those thoughts and cheers have been subsiding ever since, and now we're a vast majority- a very vast majority. Some say as many as 75% of all Americans want this mess to end. Of course we're discussing leaving Iraq in absolute ruins and chaos, but this was expected by the small minority of us standing on Art Hill on 3/20/03. We predicted it. We hoped for better, but why should our expectations have been any different? Bush should not be hailed as anything but a failure, and if he weren't so blissfully oblivious, I'd worry about his future mental health. I have screwed up some things in my life, but not really fundamentally ruined anyone else's sense of security or well-being. Bush has done just that for the entire population of at least one nation and to probably half the families of the US war dead and injured.

And to add insult to injury, care at Walter Reed turns out to be as sufficient as slapping a bandaid on a spinal cord injury.

These are sad times for the Bush administration and they exude- nothing.

Blank, quiet, nothing, nil.

"Stay the course". What course is that? See above.

The most heartbreaking story last night was of Lavena Johnson. Her HS senior picture is above. Her story is here: http://lavenajohnson.blogspot.com/

She died in Iraq, but not in combat. She died a mysterious, tragic death that the army has ruled a suicide. Her family and medical experts beg to differ. Veterans for Peace is trying to help her family uncover the truth. Lavena's case is closed, they have the official report on her death so their investigation and call for a reopening of her case is not premature.

One would think that a year and a half later, with inadequate reports on the death of a vibrant 19-year-old woman, asking for reviewing the case would not be unexpected. This is the Army, though, a veil of silence.

And so it goes with the Marines as well. The obituary that begins, "U.S. Marine Corporal ..., 22, died June 5, 2004, while serving in the U.S. Marine Corps on deployment..." is another open case. This one is in my family. That case is still open, nearly 3 years later.

Is that good enough for anyone who gives their life for their country? Is that good enough for their parents, who are undoubtedly young enough to expect to live a lifetime without their children and without knowing how they lost their lives? 19 and 22 year olds don't just die, not even while deployed in war zones.

But ask how that could happen, and that veil of silence will meet your call.

Interns vs. Pages

Maybe, finally, we have heard enough about stains on blue dresses and will finally be able to shoot back, "Yes, but at least she was an ADULT" and not a 16-year-old on IM.

Maybe.

It's not as though the blowjob even caused mayhem and horror here or abroad like the fraudulent Iraq war has continued to do, but somehow its the unforgivable moral downfall of the Clinton administration that the right cannot move past. The "When Clinton Lied, No one Died" cliche/bumper sticker is accurate but old and tired. I see a new one: "At Least Lewinsky was LEGAL"! This had better be the scandal that finally takes the Republican leadership out. "Family Values" for all, read here: http://pageoneq.com/news/2006/foley_093006.html

As a disclaimer, if this exchange was between two men over the age of 18, no matter how politically powerful either was, I would have no problem with it at all. I would laugh at how dumb the Congressman would be to IM his boyfriend like some kind of teenie-bopper text messager, but it would be perfectly fine. But this is a different kind of stupidity: the criminal kind. Oh, and if it were two adults involved, I doubt neither would make reference to "my mom" walking in or to having "AP English" homework to do. What a sicko. He's blaming alcohol and a priest from his past. Nice try.

I haven't written here in ages. Since I last wrote, the baby boom has been completed. The final count was 3 boys and 11 girls. Everyone was healthy, even the 2 preemies. There were 2 Graces, an Eva and an Ava, a Lily and a Lillyan, a Sarah and a Zarah. All families are doing well and I've been able to meet almost all of the new little guys. I won't say who I think is the cutest because that would be mean and it might also require me to mention which one's picture nearly made me lose my lunch. Just kidding, that didn't happen.

We lost Tiawanna on August 21, that was the worst week of this summer. Bill McClellan wrote an article about her which is nice but inadequate: http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/columnists.nsf/billmcclellan/story/F1E7EE7A4959E18C862571D600321CF3?OpenDocument

I cannot believe she is gone even a month later, and for a long time I will be able to hear her laugh. We always talked about buying houses and I closed on my first one 4 days after her life was cut short. She would've liked to have heard about that!

And yes, I am a homeowner. I now read home improvement and repair books with the same voracity as novels and the newest People! My house is a 96-year-old historical Dutch Colonial that looks like a barn. The most exciting thing since the purchase and move was the car accident on Monday, October 2. Here's a letter I wrote to my alderman about that:

Hello Mr. Alderman.
My name is Lynn ---, I have lived at ------- for just over 1 month. I'm new to the area and haven't yet had time to look into neighborhood meetings and such but I do have a concern. You are likely aware of the serious accident that happened on my block Monday evening. It was caused by someone who may have been impaired by some chemical but was certainly exacerbated by speeding. I observe at least 5 cars daily who fly down ----- going 45-50 mph+ and I have yet to see one police officer around the area or one driver pulled over for speeding.

This is a very family friendly neighborhood populated by many children, bikers, pedestrians, and dogs. Someone is certain to be killed or seriously injured soon by one of these speeders. The accident Monday caused damage to a dozen parked cars and ultimately has likely totaled the driver's car. This accident was a very scary reminder of all the frighteningly fast driving I have observed in the last month. There is no possible way to damage 10+ cars and to total your own if you are driving at the posted 35 mph speed limit.
I would like to see how the speeding can be addressed. I would support a speed bump, stepped up police patrols, neighbors watching and recording license plate numbers of speeders, the reversal of our block's one-way direction to curtail drivers using it as a through raceway between ---- and -------, or any discussion on this matter that could resolve it in other ways.
I don't feel the the officers I spoke to after the accident recognized that this is an ongoing problem.

I am concerned. Please let me know what I can do, and as I am certain after Monday that other neighbors share this concern, and what we as a block can do about this. Thank you for your time.

Speeding IS a problem, and the drunkard that did it totalled a couple of cars. Fortunately, my car was on the opposite side of the street of the side the driver rammed. Apparently he has neither a license nor insurance, so I'd be paying for the mirror on the Focus myself if I'd parked to the south.

Besides that, I've constructed shelves, a compost, and patched cement on my house. That is the extent of my home repair thus far.
I need to figure our how to post photos here so I can show off my handiwork!

The Cardinals are up 1-0 in the NLDS vs. the Padres with another game tomorrow.