#10 Secrets

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
What a creepy and revealing website. And how refreshing and yet disturbing, apparently everyone is the SAME. Of course I have a couple of secrets I'd never tell, but they are more embarassing than they are deep, dark, insightful, or evil. I guess the one I held for the longest time was that my parents didn't know that I was pro-choice, neither did some of my friends. I never lied, you could go back and listen to my words and have NEVER heard me say or imply that I am not pro-choice. So I decided to write an op-ed, it got published, my dad read it, and I was outed. Now they don't discuss it with me, its just moot. They know they aren't changing their minds, and the know that if it took me 20+ years to reach my conclusions, my opinion is well-researched and I'm not changing it either.
Now that I think of it, I have very few other secrets. I'm pretty much an open book. Its not that I don't do weird, scary, or embarrassing things, I just tell people about them or don't hide them. My friends know I can be a bit of a stalker, not in a bad way but in a way that I like to know as much as I can. People know I post on some online forums and what I say there is mostly true, occasionally not but just stretching it a bit. I'd tell anyone my username if they wanted to read it. If you asked me about my personal habits, what I do when I'm alone, about my sex life, or whether I've ever cheated or stolen, I'd probably tell you. Why hide? Most people know that I am almost always confident except for when I like a boy or when one likes me. Then I am terribly indecisive and lose all my good sense and can't decide whether to call, write, or leave well enough alone. For that I'll ask advice from even my most inexperienced or good-judgement-challenged peers or friends. In the end, I almost always end up disappointed and that almost always devastates me for days and the devastation just gets deeper the older I get, and I think that could be a secret but probably it is not. People who know me can usually see right through me. Perhaps even people who don't know me can see right through me, I'm not sure.