Saw Ani this weekend, sadly disappointing. She has lost her edge. Apparently my 12th concert of hers will be my last. She played 5 songs I knew and liked, and at the new and improved ticket pricing for even obscure Ani Difranco shows the way they are, that's about $9 per song. Just so I get my $9 worth, I will list which ones I enjoyed so I can remember:
My IQ
2 Little Girls
Napoleon
Next Bold Move
and finally, the one, the only... the entire encore (which used to be like 4 or 5 rockin' righteous songs in the old happy Ani days):
Little Plastic Castle.
And that's it. How sad to get old and know that she is too. Or to be old enough to know when you need a break and wish she did too. Damn, she used to rock. I'm glad I knew her when. She's one of the people I am so glad I got to be alive at the same time as. If I'd missed her life, I'd be sad and different. Other people who I'm glad are alive right now, the same time as me (besides the obvious, my family and friends!):
George W. (not because I'm really glad, but because who would believe it if you didn't live through it every day!!)
Jon Stewart
Michael Jordan
Ryan White (we overlapped for like 18 years)
REM
Josh Allison
Michael Moore
Ozzie Smith
Chris Rock
Mark Mulder (why not?)
John Malkovich
Am I glad for the lives of any WOMEN?? Apparently not. But this is stream of consciousness, it means nothing and I'll add to it later. Oh, if you are reading this you only HOPE I add to it later. And if you are reading this you have more free time than I do!
Monday, February 28, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
#3. Combating V.D.
Yes, this is my job- combating V.D. Actually it's combating HIV -to clarify -which in 1970s' and 80s' terms is V.D. That V.D. term has evolved to STD and now to the very hip STI. (That's Sexually Transmitted Disease and Infection to you novices.)
So that is my job. That is what I do at work, try to help out people who are already HIV+ and to keep HIV- people negative. It can be a tough job, especially when the funding is cut almost constantly. But hey, there's always free condoms.
Valentines Day is a lot like VD. It sneaks up on you when you think you've successfully ignored it. It will go away but you have to be patient and wait it out. I guess a major difference is that little kids go crazy for Valentines Day but not so much for VD. I outgrew that excitement by turning 11 or 12. When you don't even get the day off, what kind of celebration is it really? Then in high school you have to watch all of the flowers and candy and other garbage delivered for half the school. That continues into college and then the office where, finally, one year I got flowers. It was just once and was the only occasion of flower delivery with my name on it that did not originate from my Aunt Terry. That was nice, that one time, but then I got mad at myself for being hypocritical about combating VD once and for all. Wait! No,I did get flowers this fall- flowers thanking me for sleeping outside for baseball tickets from my friends Maria and Lisa, who benefitted with tickets to two games. That was the best baseball series of my life, the Cards and Astros playing 7 of the best games I'll ever see. It was worth the sleeping out, they didn't have to send flowers. Still, again it was nice.
So if you can't ignore Valentine's Day any more than you can ignore VD, here are a few Valentines from me:
To Alberto Gonzalez, simply because you are not John Ashcroft. You still suck and your administration bites it daily, but you are not Ashcroft. And you do not sing in public so far. Thank you.
To Arthur Miller, you were a literary genius. Also, I thought you were already dead before last Thursday when you in fact died and I feel bad for that. Sorry.
To Barbara Boxer, you rock. See previous entries for reasons.
To Bill O'Reilly for questioning Bush and Co on that request for the $80 billion for Iraq. You, like AG, generally suck but your questioning W. on this lends more credibility to the opposition. Thanks, man. This is the only Valentine you'll ever get from me.
To Tina Fey, just because you are the funniest smart chick I can think of.
To Mark Mulder, welcome to the Lou. I hope you turn out to be the ace we feel we deserve here in Cardinal nation. Also, you are a sexy beast. Call me sometime. Big Ray has my number.
To Grandma Millie, happy birthday and we miss you. I take the Tina Fey compliment back, she's the SECOND funniest smart chick I can think of, you are #1.
To Foster, my live-in love. Thanks for the longest relationship of my life. You are the coolest and I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. I promise to let you run in the park today off the leash. Please stop licking your butt when I have company. It's gross.
To the boy that shall remain nameless because I don't know you nearly well enough to put you in my blog, please do not turn out to be a tool or spineless. Please. Please. The odds are stacked against you (this appears to be my type), but PLEASE! Fight the power. And call me today, I don't give a crap that it's VD. Calling today will help your cause, I will be much more inclined to think you might be crushworthy if you don't care that you call up some woman you've only just met on a fabricated day of significance.
And that's enough love from me. I guess I left some pets and family members out, but these were just the shout outs. You all will get your due on other days not designated for recognition by Hallmark and Walmart.
So that is my job. That is what I do at work, try to help out people who are already HIV+ and to keep HIV- people negative. It can be a tough job, especially when the funding is cut almost constantly. But hey, there's always free condoms.
Valentines Day is a lot like VD. It sneaks up on you when you think you've successfully ignored it. It will go away but you have to be patient and wait it out. I guess a major difference is that little kids go crazy for Valentines Day but not so much for VD. I outgrew that excitement by turning 11 or 12. When you don't even get the day off, what kind of celebration is it really? Then in high school you have to watch all of the flowers and candy and other garbage delivered for half the school. That continues into college and then the office where, finally, one year I got flowers. It was just once and was the only occasion of flower delivery with my name on it that did not originate from my Aunt Terry. That was nice, that one time, but then I got mad at myself for being hypocritical about combating VD once and for all. Wait! No,I did get flowers this fall- flowers thanking me for sleeping outside for baseball tickets from my friends Maria and Lisa, who benefitted with tickets to two games. That was the best baseball series of my life, the Cards and Astros playing 7 of the best games I'll ever see. It was worth the sleeping out, they didn't have to send flowers. Still, again it was nice.
So if you can't ignore Valentine's Day any more than you can ignore VD, here are a few Valentines from me:
To Alberto Gonzalez, simply because you are not John Ashcroft. You still suck and your administration bites it daily, but you are not Ashcroft. And you do not sing in public so far. Thank you.
To Arthur Miller, you were a literary genius. Also, I thought you were already dead before last Thursday when you in fact died and I feel bad for that. Sorry.
To Barbara Boxer, you rock. See previous entries for reasons.
To Bill O'Reilly for questioning Bush and Co on that request for the $80 billion for Iraq. You, like AG, generally suck but your questioning W. on this lends more credibility to the opposition. Thanks, man. This is the only Valentine you'll ever get from me.
To Tina Fey, just because you are the funniest smart chick I can think of.
To Mark Mulder, welcome to the Lou. I hope you turn out to be the ace we feel we deserve here in Cardinal nation. Also, you are a sexy beast. Call me sometime. Big Ray has my number.
To Grandma Millie, happy birthday and we miss you. I take the Tina Fey compliment back, she's the SECOND funniest smart chick I can think of, you are #1.
To Foster, my live-in love. Thanks for the longest relationship of my life. You are the coolest and I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. I promise to let you run in the park today off the leash. Please stop licking your butt when I have company. It's gross.
To the boy that shall remain nameless because I don't know you nearly well enough to put you in my blog, please do not turn out to be a tool or spineless. Please. Please. The odds are stacked against you (this appears to be my type), but PLEASE! Fight the power. And call me today, I don't give a crap that it's VD. Calling today will help your cause, I will be much more inclined to think you might be crushworthy if you don't care that you call up some woman you've only just met on a fabricated day of significance.
And that's enough love from me. I guess I left some pets and family members out, but these were just the shout outs. You all will get your due on other days not designated for recognition by Hallmark and Walmart.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
#2. Its a Hard Job.
The State of the Union is tomorrow! I need to contrive a drinking game for that. Here is a post on the Iraq invasion from a forum I frequent first:
Bush was wrong. There's no going back, no second guessing. It was wrong, will always be a ridiculous waste of life, money, and respect in the world. The election was conveniently held just hours before the State of the Union so all the warm fuzzy instances of liberated, "free" people voting can pop up again and again tomorrow night. Awhhhhhh...
Just wait 'til the votes are counted, the results announced, and the assassinations begin. Then 1000 more troops die, we spend another $200 billion and then we invade Iran using our new $50 billion military bases in Iraq. It will never be the right thing to have done. Ever.
Drinking game for the SOTU:
1 drink for each mention of the following or any variation therein- liberation, democracy, freedom, terror, evil, evildoers, Sept. 11, patriotism, Condi Rice, tsunami, donations, foreign aid, leadership, Social Security crisis, Iran, insurgents, Alberto Gonzalez, $80 billion for Iraq, Saddam Hussein, death tax, Renquist, Pope John Paul II, mandate, North Korea
2 drinks for any obvious bible verses. Usually they are hidden and mean something only to the bible thumpers watching who know W. is speaking in code to them.
2 drinks for every minute spent rationalizing the need to invade Iran.
3 drinks for any mention of Sudan. Very likely won't be mentioned but if it is, drink for the promise of aid to those in peril. Very serious matters, we must help. Two SOTUs from now you can look back and see if any aid made it there. Think that won't happen? See HIV/AIDS for 15 drinks for proof that aid doesn't always arrive when promised in speech that the whole world watches.
3 drinks for any WMD reference. (More than one drink allowed because its not likely to happen- except perhaps in the context of why we need to invade Iran.) In that case you choose the 2 drink per minute explanation or the 3 for WMD mentions.
4 drinks for any reference to baseball or steroids. Not that it belongs in the SOTU, but again, look how successful W. has been in getting that steroid policy in place in MLB. W- he is so good at what he does, so relevant, and so into the Most Important Issues.
5 drinks for the viewer who finds one of the hidden, encoded verses. You need 5 drinks NOW because you need to lighten up! No sane or rational person should be able to get these before the internet or the Nation translates them for you a day later.
6 drinks for any mention of the children in Iraq playing soccer in the now-safe streets on election day. Hello, George. That's because the tanks blocked them off and no cars were parked there. The kids were locked back in the house hours later, you never know when one of those cars might explode.
7 drinks for any mention of HIV or AIDS- domestic or in Africa. That Africa AIDS thing was SO two years ago, dude!! So what if the money never made it there, look how cool we are helping all those poor, innocent tsunami victims. That is the Cause of the Moment, don't you know? So what if the same number of tsumani victims die EVERY DAY of AIDS in the world?
And now for the Really Slim Chances for a Drink:
20 drinks for mentioning the federal deficit. Why kill the buzz that forcing fake democracy on the planet brings?
25 drinks for talk of overturning Roe. Ain't gonna happen, so don't get to pouring too quickly.
25 drinks for talk of the constituional amendment to "sanctify" marraige as a m/f institution. That was a campaign promise, fools! That and Roe- never gonna happen. Thank you, evangelicals, for your support. Now bend over and hand me the KY.
30 drinks for a mention of Osama Bin Laden. This will never happen so don't worry about needing 30 drinks of anything but water after you finish hurling at the sound of this moron defending his useless money- and life- wasting War on Terror.
Bush was wrong. There's no going back, no second guessing. It was wrong, will always be a ridiculous waste of life, money, and respect in the world. The election was conveniently held just hours before the State of the Union so all the warm fuzzy instances of liberated, "free" people voting can pop up again and again tomorrow night. Awhhhhhh...
Just wait 'til the votes are counted, the results announced, and the assassinations begin. Then 1000 more troops die, we spend another $200 billion and then we invade Iran using our new $50 billion military bases in Iraq. It will never be the right thing to have done. Ever.
Drinking game for the SOTU:
1 drink for each mention of the following or any variation therein- liberation, democracy, freedom, terror, evil, evildoers, Sept. 11, patriotism, Condi Rice, tsunami, donations, foreign aid, leadership, Social Security crisis, Iran, insurgents, Alberto Gonzalez, $80 billion for Iraq, Saddam Hussein, death tax, Renquist, Pope John Paul II, mandate, North Korea
2 drinks for any obvious bible verses. Usually they are hidden and mean something only to the bible thumpers watching who know W. is speaking in code to them.
2 drinks for every minute spent rationalizing the need to invade Iran.
3 drinks for any mention of Sudan. Very likely won't be mentioned but if it is, drink for the promise of aid to those in peril. Very serious matters, we must help. Two SOTUs from now you can look back and see if any aid made it there. Think that won't happen? See HIV/AIDS for 15 drinks for proof that aid doesn't always arrive when promised in speech that the whole world watches.
3 drinks for any WMD reference. (More than one drink allowed because its not likely to happen- except perhaps in the context of why we need to invade Iran.) In that case you choose the 2 drink per minute explanation or the 3 for WMD mentions.
4 drinks for any reference to baseball or steroids. Not that it belongs in the SOTU, but again, look how successful W. has been in getting that steroid policy in place in MLB. W- he is so good at what he does, so relevant, and so into the Most Important Issues.
5 drinks for the viewer who finds one of the hidden, encoded verses. You need 5 drinks NOW because you need to lighten up! No sane or rational person should be able to get these before the internet or the Nation translates them for you a day later.
6 drinks for any mention of the children in Iraq playing soccer in the now-safe streets on election day. Hello, George. That's because the tanks blocked them off and no cars were parked there. The kids were locked back in the house hours later, you never know when one of those cars might explode.
7 drinks for any mention of HIV or AIDS- domestic or in Africa. That Africa AIDS thing was SO two years ago, dude!! So what if the money never made it there, look how cool we are helping all those poor, innocent tsunami victims. That is the Cause of the Moment, don't you know? So what if the same number of tsumani victims die EVERY DAY of AIDS in the world?
And now for the Really Slim Chances for a Drink:
20 drinks for mentioning the federal deficit. Why kill the buzz that forcing fake democracy on the planet brings?
25 drinks for talk of overturning Roe. Ain't gonna happen, so don't get to pouring too quickly.
25 drinks for talk of the constituional amendment to "sanctify" marraige as a m/f institution. That was a campaign promise, fools! That and Roe- never gonna happen. Thank you, evangelicals, for your support. Now bend over and hand me the KY.
30 drinks for a mention of Osama Bin Laden. This will never happen so don't worry about needing 30 drinks of anything but water after you finish hurling at the sound of this moron defending his useless money- and life- wasting War on Terror.
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