#2. Its a Hard Job.

The State of the Union is tomorrow! I need to contrive a drinking game for that. Here is a post on the Iraq invasion from a forum I frequent first:

Bush was wrong. There's no going back, no second guessing. It was wrong, will always be a ridiculous waste of life, money, and respect in the world. The election was conveniently held just hours before the State of the Union so all the warm fuzzy instances of liberated, "free" people voting can pop up again and again tomorrow night. Awhhhhhh...

Just wait 'til the votes are counted, the results announced, and the assassinations begin. Then 1000 more troops die, we spend another $200 billion and then we invade Iran using our new $50 billion military bases in Iraq. It will never be the right thing to have done. Ever.

Drinking game for the SOTU:

1 drink for each mention of the following or any variation therein- liberation, democracy, freedom, terror, evil, evildoers, Sept. 11, patriotism, Condi Rice, tsunami, donations, foreign aid, leadership, Social Security crisis, Iran, insurgents, Alberto Gonzalez, $80 billion for Iraq, Saddam Hussein, death tax, Renquist, Pope John Paul II, mandate, North Korea

2 drinks for any obvious bible verses. Usually they are hidden and mean something only to the bible thumpers watching who know W. is speaking in code to them.

2 drinks for every minute spent rationalizing the need to invade Iran.

3 drinks for any mention of Sudan. Very likely won't be mentioned but if it is, drink for the promise of aid to those in peril. Very serious matters, we must help. Two SOTUs from now you can look back and see if any aid made it there. Think that won't happen? See HIV/AIDS for 15 drinks for proof that aid doesn't always arrive when promised in speech that the whole world watches.

3 drinks for any WMD reference. (More than one drink allowed because its not likely to happen- except perhaps in the context of why we need to invade Iran.) In that case you choose the 2 drink per minute explanation or the 3 for WMD mentions.

4 drinks for any reference to baseball or steroids. Not that it belongs in the SOTU, but again, look how successful W. has been in getting that steroid policy in place in MLB. W- he is so good at what he does, so relevant, and so into the Most Important Issues.

5 drinks for the viewer who finds one of the hidden, encoded verses. You need 5 drinks NOW because you need to lighten up! No sane or rational person should be able to get these before the internet or the Nation translates them for you a day later.

6 drinks for any mention of the children in Iraq playing soccer in the now-safe streets on election day. Hello, George. That's because the tanks blocked them off and no cars were parked there. The kids were locked back in the house hours later, you never know when one of those cars might explode.

7 drinks for any mention of HIV or AIDS- domestic or in Africa. That Africa AIDS thing was SO two years ago, dude!! So what if the money never made it there, look how cool we are helping all those poor, innocent tsunami victims. That is the Cause of the Moment, don't you know? So what if the same number of tsumani victims die EVERY DAY of AIDS in the world?

And now for the Really Slim Chances for a Drink:

20 drinks for mentioning the federal deficit. Why kill the buzz that forcing fake democracy on the planet brings?

25 drinks for talk of overturning Roe. Ain't gonna happen, so don't get to pouring too quickly.

25 drinks for talk of the constituional amendment to "sanctify" marraige as a m/f institution. That was a campaign promise, fools! That and Roe- never gonna happen. Thank you, evangelicals, for your support. Now bend over and hand me the KY.

30 drinks for a mention of Osama Bin Laden. This will never happen so don't worry about needing 30 drinks of anything but water after you finish hurling at the sound of this moron defending his useless money- and life- wasting War on Terror.