#10 Secrets

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
What a creepy and revealing website. And how refreshing and yet disturbing, apparently everyone is the SAME. Of course I have a couple of secrets I'd never tell, but they are more embarassing than they are deep, dark, insightful, or evil. I guess the one I held for the longest time was that my parents didn't know that I was pro-choice, neither did some of my friends. I never lied, you could go back and listen to my words and have NEVER heard me say or imply that I am not pro-choice. So I decided to write an op-ed, it got published, my dad read it, and I was outed. Now they don't discuss it with me, its just moot. They know they aren't changing their minds, and the know that if it took me 20+ years to reach my conclusions, my opinion is well-researched and I'm not changing it either.
Now that I think of it, I have very few other secrets. I'm pretty much an open book. Its not that I don't do weird, scary, or embarrassing things, I just tell people about them or don't hide them. My friends know I can be a bit of a stalker, not in a bad way but in a way that I like to know as much as I can. People know I post on some online forums and what I say there is mostly true, occasionally not but just stretching it a bit. I'd tell anyone my username if they wanted to read it. If you asked me about my personal habits, what I do when I'm alone, about my sex life, or whether I've ever cheated or stolen, I'd probably tell you. Why hide? Most people know that I am almost always confident except for when I like a boy or when one likes me. Then I am terribly indecisive and lose all my good sense and can't decide whether to call, write, or leave well enough alone. For that I'll ask advice from even my most inexperienced or good-judgement-challenged peers or friends. In the end, I almost always end up disappointed and that almost always devastates me for days and the devastation just gets deeper the older I get, and I think that could be a secret but probably it is not. People who know me can usually see right through me. Perhaps even people who don't know me can see right through me, I'm not sure.

#9. Another Day, Another Ate

Saturday night and I'm sitting in a clean apartment with clean hair and I'm trying to figure out if Will Ferrell is hosting SNL or if these lame sketches are repeats of past shows. I rarely watch the show and yet every time I turn it on, that stupid segment with the couple that are both named Nuni is on, the one with Maya Rudolph and her Andy Warhol-coiffed husband.
But I did not log in and start a new blog site to complain about SNL. I logged in to complain about how I have been cancelled on yet AGAIN. I'd call it "stood up" but they alway call and have very good reason why they have to cancel our date, our night out, whatever. This happened a lot recently with a man who I shouldn't name so I'll just call him "Harlie". Cancelled on me at least twice, and was just too hard to catch, he had all kinds of business trips, went to bed early, had to work out, etc. Hey, I can take a hint and if I'd have thought he wasn't at all into me, I'd have given up. But he kept calling and attempting to make plans when it finally became clear to me that that wasn't going to ever happen. Even if it did, I''m nearly positive I don't want to date someone that busy. It would have been a quicker decision if he wasn't so damned CUTE! This was one nice lookin' man, maybe too religious but we never got that far in conversation so all I can really say is that he was hot. Oh well.
Then there's the inconsistency of, hmm, I'll call him ay. Ay Ing. He's the MOST inconsistent. This is largely because he spends only approximately 40% of his time in the same city as me. That's OK, I mainly put up with him for inside scoops and free tickets. Now that he's seen Chateau Shenandoah, he's probably not calling again. He laughed at my TV. Not at my Focus, not at the dog hair on my couch, my TV. He said, so that's the big screen, huh? Yeah, buddy. Let's do the math here, genius. I make 1.8% of the salary you collect in one year. You make more in per diem pay than I get in my salary- and that's for max. 6 months of work!! Funny to mock the poor.
But the reason I'm alone watching crappy SNL is contestant #3 who cancelled on me. It's cumulative annoyance, not all "im's" fault, but it still sucks. He seems to like me, I'm pretty sure he's the one doing the pursuing and I'm not much into resisting- until maybe today. Again, cumulative but still highly annoying. It's not his fault others cancelled on me, but I actually let myself think it wouldn't happen again. Not this time, I naively thought, hence the vaccumed floors, clean hair, and effing Will Ferrell as Nuni's son at 11:30 on a Saturday night. Annoying. REALLY annoying.
I can do nearly everything alone, I don't need anyone else for much. The things that have occurred to me this week that I cannot do alone is to clasp the bracelet Michiyo made for me and to fold up my futon.
Needless to say, I had to vaccuum around the unfolded futon today. Oh, well, the dog likes to sleep in it when I am not here. If "im" gets another shot, he's going to have to deal with the dog hair on the couch and my own hair not so clean. And he's going to help me fold up that damned futon. Dating is really stupid. Mostly pointless as well, as far as I can see.
Mark Mulder got a no decision today, his first. Could have been his 6th consecutive win. At least we won, and man is he smokin'. ERA is a little higher, but still he's the man.

#8. I caught a ball

I got a foul ball!! I have NEVER had that chance, not until yesterday at the Cards-Padres game on Mother's Day. I always say I repel the fouls, in all my years of baseball games I've never had one come anywhere near my row. Sometimes they hit my section, but nowhere near wherEI'd have a chance to snag it. I owe Katie F a BIG PHAT THANK YOU for going to the bathroom in the 9th inning, because it was her seat tha the ball dropped into and she certainly would have given me a run for my money if she'd been there to try to catch it.

What a game, too. 11 runs and 16 batters in the first inning for the Cardinals. And I caught a ball. A Miguel Ojeda foul ball off Brad Thompson in his major league debut.

Finally.

#7. Rick Ankiel: The Next Babe Ruth?

So Ankiel is hanging up the wild curveball. Its a bold move, but are the Cardinal faithful really suprised? I mean, not at the announcement but at anything that Rick Ankiel does? He's nothing if unpredictable. He won't be a Cardinal on April 2, that's for sure. He can't make the team as a fielder at this late date and sending him to AAA is a sure bet for another team. The real question will be if he will try to pitch for the team who claims him off waivers? Who will it be? Good luck, Rick. You've been the next Koufax, maybe you'll be the next Musial- or Ruth. Can I recommend that on the journey to greatness, that you make a stop in some psychotherapy?
Little new on my other fronts. I'm still picking up dog crap, congress is spending time and money to investigate steroid use which is as useful as picking up dog crap. How, in a country with no universal healthcare, with a federal deficit in the kagillions, with a growing crisis of homeless and jobless families, and with constant casualties in Iraq, our government can spend probably millions to investigate whether grown men tried to be better at children's games than others by putting needles in each other's asses?
How does this affect the public again? Who of these players in their right mind would show up for such a farce? Why no congressional hearings into WMDs in Iraq or into Bush's involvement in Enron?
Yes, the world will be a safer place when Rafael Palmeiro tells John McCain that the strongest thing he keeps in his bloodstream is Viagra. And Curt Schilling can bring along 3D diagrams of his temporary surgical procedures that allowed him to help win another World Series- talk about friggin performance enhancement!! What the hell is going on in this country?? Why are my clients getting cut off of utility assistance while milloinaires interview millionaires on their pharmaceutical habits?
Last time I checked, fans just don't care. Everyone loves razzing Barry, everyone who lives outside of the Bay Area anyway. He's our favorite King-domed villian. But honestly, I don't care if he used steroids. I'll be skeptical but I DO NOT CARE. McGwire? Yeah, I'm sure the neckful of pockmarks is a result of normal acne outbreaks in your 30s. Hope I can avoid it, being 30 now. I'm pretty sure I'm safe. IF you strip them of the their records, who gets them? Second place- Sammy Sosa. Sure, he's as clean as a baby's butt too. Canseco? HA. Nomar? A-Rod? Pudge? You never know.
I've spent more time talking about roids in this blog than the damned members of congress should have. PLEASE PEOPLE!!! Can we shift to the cure for breast cancer? Peace in the Middle East? ANYTHING but this. You all make me sad I pay taxes.
Good night, number 66. We'll always remember 2000.

#6. A Post a Day...

I never plan to write every day. Every day writing is for journals, not blogs. Blogs are exhibitionist, journals aren't read until you die so no one else knows how selfish, shallow, and hedonistic you really are.
Still, I'm writing daily now. Well, I wrote yesterday. And being an exhibitionist, I will write about a first date I just had. The date will likely not call, as is my pattern of first dates, so he will never know what I say about him. That said, he could read this because it would be nice. He IS nice. Not nice in a generic, I don't know what else to say about him but NICE, like what exactly is wrong with him??
Normal, nice men are not single at 30 and they certainly aren't being set up with total strangers so there must be something wrong with him. Luckily, we talked extensively and found out we have some mutual friends so I was able to call one of them on my way home to inquire- What is wrong with him?? Amanda, my wonderful friend, suprised to hear I was out with her friend said, "Nothing, in fact we've all had crushes on this guy." Huh?
Now I'm on the hunt. I'm a stalker- what is WRONG with him? There must be something. Amanda and friends were all once attractive, smart, interesting and single. Now they are all of those things but single and yet no one dated this man with no flaws? There must be a reason. Someone must share with me. Perhaps he bites his toenails. Or he's a Republican. He is from Texas, there's a clue. But he's from Austin, which is really a succession from the Great Nation of W. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM??
We talked about food, friends,families, and Walmart. What else is there, really? He did not know that Walmart is evil, but he does know that George W is so that's OK.
There must be something, besides that he is not Mark Mulder. He played Division 3 basketball in college. I guessed Div. 2, he was insulted that I would not have guessed 1. Oops.
I forgot to thank him for dinner. What an ass. He paid the bill while I was in the bathroom so I never even got to offer to help out. Now I've forgotten to even THANK him for a very nice meal. And he is leaving town for the next 5 days. I wonder if he will call. I'm not holding my breath.
If he doesn't call, I will KNOW what is wrong with him. If he does, I'll still be left to wonder...

#5 My Job is Picking Up

This was the sign on the pooper scooper guy's trash can who followed the mounted police in parades when I was a kid. Now its all coming back to haunt me. My job for a week and 3 days has literally been to shovel poo. Three Great Danes, two of whom outweigh me and the other of which is monstly incontinent, make a lot of poo.
I'm housesitting, of course, I'd never fit three 130+ lb beings in my apartment unless some friends needed a place to crash after a night of drinking. They'd not fit into my apartment. These guys- Samson, Barkley, and Winston are lovely dogs, really sweet and I enjoy the big one s more than the small yappy ones, but this poo thing is a real deterrent to my fully enjoying their sweetness. Have you seen the size of Great Dane poo?? I could post a picture, but I won't.

I digress. Enough Dane poo. In other news today, we joined the rest of the civilzed world by outlawing the juvenile death penalty. First the mentally retarded, now the kids. Now THAT is progress. So proud to be an American!! And even prouder am I to be a Missourian, where after a long and unproductive 18+ month time away from killing our own, we're back to the executions this month. Thank goodness, I can breathe easy again soon. After all, surely the crime rate has skyrocketed and the streets have filled with violent criminals since the DP is such a huge crime deterrent.

Rehnquist was apparently disappointed in the ruling, he said something out of his tracheostomy about life being more valuable as a fetus this big --> . <-- than as a walking, talking, breathing 17-year-old. Of course this living, breathing 17-year-old has killed people and the fetus (.) has not...yet. Still, no one was asking the Court to let the child criminals free, no these kids will never see the light of day, and probably they should not. But at least the Court decided that death is best left up to nature, God, or one's self, not the state or federal government. This is the way it should be.
I just started to type some other horrible joke/smartass comment about the Pope answering Renquist out of his OWN trach... but that's just in bad taste.

Oh! How could I forget the MOST pressing news- Rick Ankiel threw 3 strikes yesterday in BP in Jupiter!! Of course, the threee strikes were just 3 of 26 pitckets he threw, but I was there in the 2000 playoffs, I saw the implosion. Believe me, the Rick Ankiel of the 2000 NLCS could NEVER have thrown 3 strikes. I think things are looking up for ol' number 66. I think he changed the number, but he'll always be our little number 66. Good luck Rick, you'll need it.

#4. Ani needs a vacation

Saw Ani this weekend, sadly disappointing. She has lost her edge. Apparently my 12th concert of hers will be my last. She played 5 songs I knew and liked, and at the new and improved ticket pricing for even obscure Ani Difranco shows the way they are, that's about $9 per song. Just so I get my $9 worth, I will list which ones I enjoyed so I can remember:
My IQ
2 Little Girls
Napoleon
Next Bold Move
and finally, the one, the only... the entire encore (which used to be like 4 or 5 rockin' righteous songs in the old happy Ani days):
Little Plastic Castle.

And that's it. How sad to get old and know that she is too. Or to be old enough to know when you need a break and wish she did too. Damn, she used to rock. I'm glad I knew her when. She's one of the people I am so glad I got to be alive at the same time as. If I'd missed her life, I'd be sad and different. Other people who I'm glad are alive right now, the same time as me (besides the obvious, my family and friends!):

George W. (not because I'm really glad, but because who would believe it if you didn't live through it every day!!)
Jon Stewart
Michael Jordan
Ryan White (we overlapped for like 18 years)
REM
Josh Allison
Michael Moore
Ozzie Smith
Chris Rock
Mark Mulder (why not?)
John Malkovich

Am I glad for the lives of any WOMEN?? Apparently not. But this is stream of consciousness, it means nothing and I'll add to it later. Oh, if you are reading this you only HOPE I add to it later. And if you are reading this you have more free time than I do!

#3. Combating V.D.

Yes, this is my job- combating V.D. Actually it's combating HIV -to clarify -which in 1970s' and 80s' terms is V.D. That V.D. term has evolved to STD and now to the very hip STI. (That's Sexually Transmitted Disease and Infection to you novices.)
So that is my job. That is what I do at work, try to help out people who are already HIV+ and to keep HIV- people negative. It can be a tough job, especially when the funding is cut almost constantly. But hey, there's always free condoms.
Valentines Day is a lot like VD. It sneaks up on you when you think you've successfully ignored it. It will go away but you have to be patient and wait it out. I guess a major difference is that little kids go crazy for Valentines Day but not so much for VD. I outgrew that excitement by turning 11 or 12. When you don't even get the day off, what kind of celebration is it really? Then in high school you have to watch all of the flowers and candy and other garbage delivered for half the school. That continues into college and then the office where, finally, one year I got flowers. It was just once and was the only occasion of flower delivery with my name on it that did not originate from my Aunt Terry. That was nice, that one time, but then I got mad at myself for being hypocritical about combating VD once and for all. Wait! No,I did get flowers this fall- flowers thanking me for sleeping outside for baseball tickets from my friends Maria and Lisa, who benefitted with tickets to two games. That was the best baseball series of my life, the Cards and Astros playing 7 of the best games I'll ever see. It was worth the sleeping out, they didn't have to send flowers. Still, again it was nice.


So if you can't ignore Valentine's Day any more than you can ignore VD, here are a few Valentines from me:

To Alberto Gonzalez, simply because you are not John Ashcroft. You still suck and your administration bites it daily, but you are not Ashcroft. And you do not sing in public so far. Thank you.

To Arthur Miller, you were a literary genius. Also, I thought you were already dead before last Thursday when you in fact died and I feel bad for that. Sorry.

To Barbara Boxer, you rock. See previous entries for reasons.

To Bill O'Reilly for questioning Bush and Co on that request for the $80 billion for Iraq. You, like AG, generally suck but your questioning W. on this lends more credibility to the opposition. Thanks, man. This is the only Valentine you'll ever get from me.

To Tina Fey, just because you are the funniest smart chick I can think of.

To Mark Mulder, welcome to the Lou. I hope you turn out to be the ace we feel we deserve here in Cardinal nation. Also, you are a sexy beast. Call me sometime. Big Ray has my number.

To Grandma Millie, happy birthday and we miss you. I take the Tina Fey compliment back, she's the SECOND funniest smart chick I can think of, you are #1.

To Foster, my live-in love. Thanks for the longest relationship of my life. You are the coolest and I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. I promise to let you run in the park today off the leash. Please stop licking your butt when I have company. It's gross.

To the boy that shall remain nameless because I don't know you nearly well enough to put you in my blog, please do not turn out to be a tool or spineless. Please. Please. The odds are stacked against you (this appears to be my type), but PLEASE! Fight the power. And call me today, I don't give a crap that it's VD. Calling today will help your cause, I will be much more inclined to think you might be crushworthy if you don't care that you call up some woman you've only just met on a fabricated day of significance.


And that's enough love from me. I guess I left some pets and family members out, but these were just the shout outs. You all will get your due on other days not designated for recognition by Hallmark and Walmart.

#2. Its a Hard Job.

The State of the Union is tomorrow! I need to contrive a drinking game for that. Here is a post on the Iraq invasion from a forum I frequent first:

Bush was wrong. There's no going back, no second guessing. It was wrong, will always be a ridiculous waste of life, money, and respect in the world. The election was conveniently held just hours before the State of the Union so all the warm fuzzy instances of liberated, "free" people voting can pop up again and again tomorrow night. Awhhhhhh...

Just wait 'til the votes are counted, the results announced, and the assassinations begin. Then 1000 more troops die, we spend another $200 billion and then we invade Iran using our new $50 billion military bases in Iraq. It will never be the right thing to have done. Ever.

Drinking game for the SOTU:

1 drink for each mention of the following or any variation therein- liberation, democracy, freedom, terror, evil, evildoers, Sept. 11, patriotism, Condi Rice, tsunami, donations, foreign aid, leadership, Social Security crisis, Iran, insurgents, Alberto Gonzalez, $80 billion for Iraq, Saddam Hussein, death tax, Renquist, Pope John Paul II, mandate, North Korea

2 drinks for any obvious bible verses. Usually they are hidden and mean something only to the bible thumpers watching who know W. is speaking in code to them.

2 drinks for every minute spent rationalizing the need to invade Iran.

3 drinks for any mention of Sudan. Very likely won't be mentioned but if it is, drink for the promise of aid to those in peril. Very serious matters, we must help. Two SOTUs from now you can look back and see if any aid made it there. Think that won't happen? See HIV/AIDS for 15 drinks for proof that aid doesn't always arrive when promised in speech that the whole world watches.

3 drinks for any WMD reference. (More than one drink allowed because its not likely to happen- except perhaps in the context of why we need to invade Iran.) In that case you choose the 2 drink per minute explanation or the 3 for WMD mentions.

4 drinks for any reference to baseball or steroids. Not that it belongs in the SOTU, but again, look how successful W. has been in getting that steroid policy in place in MLB. W- he is so good at what he does, so relevant, and so into the Most Important Issues.

5 drinks for the viewer who finds one of the hidden, encoded verses. You need 5 drinks NOW because you need to lighten up! No sane or rational person should be able to get these before the internet or the Nation translates them for you a day later.

6 drinks for any mention of the children in Iraq playing soccer in the now-safe streets on election day. Hello, George. That's because the tanks blocked them off and no cars were parked there. The kids were locked back in the house hours later, you never know when one of those cars might explode.

7 drinks for any mention of HIV or AIDS- domestic or in Africa. That Africa AIDS thing was SO two years ago, dude!! So what if the money never made it there, look how cool we are helping all those poor, innocent tsunami victims. That is the Cause of the Moment, don't you know? So what if the same number of tsumani victims die EVERY DAY of AIDS in the world?

And now for the Really Slim Chances for a Drink:

20 drinks for mentioning the federal deficit. Why kill the buzz that forcing fake democracy on the planet brings?

25 drinks for talk of overturning Roe. Ain't gonna happen, so don't get to pouring too quickly.

25 drinks for talk of the constituional amendment to "sanctify" marraige as a m/f institution. That was a campaign promise, fools! That and Roe- never gonna happen. Thank you, evangelicals, for your support. Now bend over and hand me the KY.

30 drinks for a mention of Osama Bin Laden. This will never happen so don't worry about needing 30 drinks of anything but water after you finish hurling at the sound of this moron defending his useless money- and life- wasting War on Terror.

#1. Fingerhut-Spooneybarger

This is the first post of a new blog. I had one once, never kept it up. Now you have to pay for that site and so probably my brilliant past thoughts have disappeared. My bro Mark has a blog here, this inspired me to start my own. Check his out at www.champon.blogspot.com. This is Lynn, the oldest of the Fingerhuts, not counting Michiyo (who married in) so I am still the oldest by birth.
Today I want to just pay a little homage to Barbara Boxer. She's the only senator who dared Condi Rice to answer the hard questions in her confirmation hearings on the reasons for invading Iraq. Later, 14 other senators joined her in voting against Rice for Secretary of State, but she was the one giving the heat and now taking it for speaking up. If only others could be so bold as to just say what should be said. If you want the postition of power you need to walk the walk and talk the talk. Hiding does not a leader make.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-carlson27jan27,0,655679.column
Thank you, Barbara.

On a lighter note, Spring Training begins in one month and two days (March 2) and Mark Mulder will be wearing number 30. This will become my new favorite number after Jimmy's #15. This is also my birthdate, so it will remain my favorite even if Mark and declares himself the anti-war, anti-Bush love of my life. (He's already single and 6'6", he's meeting most of my standards already!) If not, there's always Carlos Delgado- now of the National League. I already know HE is anti-war. It could happen.
Why are the MArlins so slow to update their website? I am not sure what number CD will be wearing, he doesn't even appear on the roster. Who DOES appear on the roster that suprised me- Alfonseca. He of 12 fingers and 12 toes. Oh, and Tim Spooneybarger. The REAL test of the hypenated name, Fingerhut-Spooneybarger. Yeah, kids would dig that for a last name. Wonder if he's single...

The Post-Election Haze

So it takes me 5 months to get back to the blog and the last 7 days feel like the whole 5 months. I will wear black every Tuesday for the next 4 years. Missouri went entirely Republican. From the governor to the state house and senate to Senator and President. Goddamned W. How he can win an election is beyond me. The hardest part of his winning will be acknowledging that he DID win. At least for 4 years I've been able to deny his legally being the Prez. Now, after January 18 or whatever Inaugeration day is, he will be President. No denying it. We worked our butts off here. I am sorry to the rest of the country and to the world. So sorry. We tried, we really did. Here are some quotes from some good e-mails I've gotten in the past week. They say what I think better than I: ___________________________________________________________

Do I think the election was stolen? There is an old African proverb that goes something like this¦ Until the lions have their own historians, tales of hunting will always glorify the hunter... I have come to realize that all of our efforts are not in vain. We are progressives, and the slowest force in all of nature isprogress, always moving forward with the quiet strength of perpetual motion. One day soon, the lions will have their historians.-Dyan Ortbal-Avalos ___________________________________________________________

such an evil society with the right on the prowl- Scott P. ___________________________________________________________

It is much easier to unite against a common enemy such as theBush administration. This kind of battle, which frames thingsas good vs. evil and is immediate, can be powerfully motivating. Instead, let's take the long view and pick 10 or so issues that we would hope for in a progressive agenda (i.e. the environment, ending the war, economic justice, racial and gender equality, education, healthcare, gay rights, outlawing capital punishment etc) and then work on these using the networks that have been formed by this election. What if we all commit right now to giving the same amount of volunteer hours, monetary donations (about 1/2 a billion I heard) and passionate effort that we gave for this election to an organized and united issue based progressive campaign over the next four years? -Jenny Bird ___________________________________________________________

I am still grieving the elections. Obama was a bright spot. Just got to work harder to keep the Christian Right from legislating us right into the 18th century. -My Aunt Renae Mayer (one of the progressive voters in my entire family) ___________________________________________________________

Like many of you, I have spent the last few days trying to figure out what happened on November 2nd and what it means for the future of our country. Clearly, I am upset about the outcome of the election and worried about what new attacks will be launched on our economy, environment,civil liberties and way of life. But to be honest, the strongest emotions I'm feeling right noware pride and hope. -Matt Ewing, MoveOn organizer in the STL, my blue city in the red state
___________________________________________________________

Who do we need to build relationships with to make change on a deep level,not just for one election cycle? I'm especially wondering how we can connect w/rural people who are being hurt badly by right wing policies, yet seem to vote contrary to their own interests.-Trish Curtis ___________________________________________________________

The Department of Peace becomes ever more imperative. And the eleven states whose Democratic delegations took a strong stand in favor of a Department of Peace will be focal points of all our efforts to get congressional delegations to begin to sign on in support of this concept, which is aimed at making non-violence an organizing principle in our society. If there was ever a time when we needed that approach, it's now. -Dennis Kucinich ___________________________________________________________

Tens of millions of us are disappointed today because we put so much of ourselves into this election. We donated money, we talked to friends, we knocked on doors. We invested ourselves in the political process. That process does not end today. These are not short-term investments. We will only create lasting change if that sense of obligation and responsibility becomes a permanent part of our lives. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." We will not be silent. Thank you for everything you did for our cause in this election. But we are not stopping here. Governor Howard Dean, M.D ___________________________________________________________

a draft
bombing Iran
bombing Syria
dropping THE bomb on some country
doubling the deficit
another 1-4 in Iraq
throwing out Roe
Ashcroft (or someone to the right of Thomas) on the SCOTUS
federal gay marriage ban
mandated prayer in schools, before sports, etc.
banning immigration/green cards/ new citizenship
national ID card or implanted chip system
cutting all HIV spending or taking Medicaid away from those with HIV (not a huge stretch right now)
cutting all sex ed programs
no child left behind expansion
no federal aid to non-faith-based charities
implementing fingerprinting and testing before being registered to vote
stripping states of all funds to aid domestic violence victims
more tax cuts cutting all taxes for those who earn $200, 000 or more per year
cutting fuel efficiency standards for the 6 mile per gallon H4 due out in 2006
cutting all funds for public transportation improvements
death sentences imposed for non-violent drug crimes

-Shruti and Lynn's Worst Case Scenario list, soon to be incorporated into Not Yet Anyway Bingo Game.
___________________________________________________________

And this is what I have been reading. All of the above and more. Some of my notes above come from an earlier post and I'm sure will reappear if I figure out how to post our Bingo game.

Sadness and frustration. Soon I have to move on though. Sometime soon.

You won't believe what happened to me today

Some things that we have to look forward to:

-John Ashcroft appointed to the Supreme Court

-Invading Iran, Syria, etc, or dropping the bomb on anyone

-Allowing Bush and Co to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage, include parts of the Patriot Act, and to do away with term limits

-Implementing national ID systems, cards or implanted devices on immigrants or all of us -1-4 more years in Iraq

-a draft

-mandated prayer in schools, before sporting events, or mandated worship on Sundays

-cancellations of elections because "times are dangerous"

-complete cuts in funding to HIV research (not a big stretch right now)

-another four years of the damned useless color coded alert system (will we ever get below yellow??)

The list will be expounded upon and then, when something terrible happens in the next 4 years, you can say, "Well, I may have lost my job, but at least there's no draft... not yet anyway!" Not Yet Anyway Bingo, it'll be a game to play as we destroy civil liberties and the planet in the process.

Go Massachusetts!

Gay marriages are finally legal there. Congrats to all, best wishes, hope the celebrating goes on and on. in other good news, Fahrenheit 911 getting good reviews at Cannes, though no distributor in sight yet. Still, this means I will be able to see it whether it gets to theaters or just released on the internet.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/06/opinion/06THU4.html?ex=1399176000&en=303eb37bb2efdc64&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND

I cannot WAIT to see it. I hope for so many things about it, but it cannot possibly meet my expectations.

http://www.commondreams.org/views04/0517-10.htm

Too bad Cannes is so far away. If it were LA or NYC, I'd be there. J

on the Londoner is keeping me abreast of the continuing travels in China. I love it, I know where he, Chiara, Fiona, and the others are. If only the Irishman kept up, but he has disappeared to the beaches of Thailand by now I think. I wish I were with them, but then my own adventures will be my own when I go back. I hope they stay in touch.

I think India is where I want to go most. For today, anyway. India, South America, more of Southeast Asia, and South Africa. I'll keep it small. haha

New baby watch, the Kennebeck kid is due in a week and now the Gibson-Thoele baby will be here in December. Fritz is that one, again just for today. I am off to pick up my own charges, canines are my preferred young ones! Two puppies to foster. That will be fun again, I haven't had pups in a couple of months. Perhaps, also, I will have a date this week? Dare to dream. We will see. Off to see the Jim Carrey/Kate Winslet movie whose name I cannot remember. Someone with the "Spotless Mind". Supposed to be good! Later.

What is Terror, Anyway?

Why is there a War on Terror, Terrorists, Elevated Terror Threat Level, etc, etc, and no real definition of "terror"? Aren't average, ordinary car thieves terrorists of some type? What about drunk men who beat their girlfriends- aren't they terrorizing someone and therefore terrorists? Aren't people responsible for prisoners who abuse their charges terrorists? That would cover civilian prison guards and military personnel as well, anyone who has responsibilities to prisoners and who treat those prisoners with disrespect or outright abuse. Terrorists and the war on terror? Sounds like nothing more than semantics to me. Since this is my journal for planning the Big Trip, I have to admit I have done very little in the planning. I have heard from London Jon, aka Jungle Jon who FINALLY left Bejing, God bless him. He has moved on to tae kwon do with some monks south of Bejing before heading to Shanghai. Seamy the Irishman is nowhere to be found, presumably on his way to Thailand. I won't hear much from him, but hope to perhaps see him in the winter in Boston/NYC. The plans will be further along by then, and perhaps I will be living closer to that area. New Haven? Hartford? All to be determined. Katie's graduation is the first step, then looking for jobs and apartments and determining affordability. So much to do!! Tomorrow is the graduation, then Steve Gibson's PhD graduation party, then Courtney and Tom's wedding and subsequent reception. All of this AND catching up on sleep. Looking forward to the sleep and and also to kickball, my first time in 3 weeks on the field. Softball begins next week, too. If the rain stops anytime soon, all of these events will go as planned. 'Til next week!

Jet Lag

How do people recover from being Half a World Away? I guess if you don't work the next day, its a bit easier to recover. Who is Billy Bender? There were 4 messages on my machine with urgent info for him. Does that sound like a cartoon character or someone who is actually wanted by the bank who was calling? Am I supposed to call them back to tell them that Billy does not exist? There weren't even 4 messages for ME, and the phone number is actually mine. I have been traveling for the last 3 days. I spent 56+ hours in transit, and slept only 1 hour of the last 30 of that 56 hours. I'm sure there's some type of equation there, and that this sentence would make sense to someone else who is as jet lagged as me- or maybe drunk. Jet lag is a lot like being drunk. Its hard to form sentences, you want to laugh a lot at things that are not at all funny, and most of the time you want to go to sleep. Now I am back in the real world, listening to Jim Rome and hearing that Bush is stupid and Rumsfeld may be forced to resign. That would be nice. The rain and storms that stranded me in Chicago (O'Hare) for 10 hours yesterday have followed me to St. Louis. Welcome home, here's a downpour for you!! It reminds me of riding a bike in the pouring rain in Bejing, only that was more fun. And now for the stream of consciousness and not necessarily interesting part of what I am thinking!!:::: Maybe its in the haze of jet lag that I have made some plans that I am going to put here. If its public and accessible to me anywhere, anytime, I will be more likely to keep it current and to follow through. I am going to plan to travel for at least a year, beginning the saving and scheduling process today, May 11, 2004. Maybe by this point in 2006 I will be ready. Two years ago this month, I set out on a 17-state, 2-province tour of North America. That trip was about 5 months in planning, I figure a larger scale trip requires about twice the planning time and 4x the saving money time. I've seen the US, Canada, Mexico, Guatemala, and now a very tiny part of China. The next part of the goal is South America, Asia, and Africa. Australia is a possibility, but not top priority. Europe will have to wait, though I have more places to crash with friends in Europe than anywhere else. There is much to be determined, but now is as good a time as any to begin thinking of it!! If Bush gets a second term, somtime in the next 4 years would be the ideal time to live elsewhere. It he's succeeded by another buffoon, staying abroad is always an option.